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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Askar. We used to run around this city like we owned the place. He’s got this wild story about a goat that got loose during a wedding. I’m dying laughing. Like, who lets a goat crash a wedding? Only in Sarykemer, man.