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So, sex-dating’s this mad game. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—bam! Instant matches! Little known fact: 1 in 5 relationships start online now! Nuts, yeah? Used to be pubs, now it’s pixels. Makes me happy—options galore! But angry too—ghostin’s a plague! You chat, vibe, then poof—they’re gone! Like orcs fleein’ a Balrog! “I don’t know what’s next,” Mason says in *Boyhood*. Same with sex-dating—unpredictable as hell!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

After that, I decide to hit up the park by the river. It’s usually my chill spot. But today? It’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, and some dude blasting music like he’s at a concert. I’m trying to find a quiet bench, but no luck. Finally, I plop down next to this couple arguing. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?