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But real talk – some places dodgy as fuck. Went to this one spot, yeah, all neon lights, thought I’d get a lush massage. Nah, fam, it was a scam – £50 for a pat on the back! Bare angry, I was, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” or ’cos I smell like fish? Probs both, rude bastards. Still, proper erotic-massage? Worth it when legit – tension gone, bits tingling, you’re like, “I am finished with the past!” – movie line, that.

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Finally, my plov arrives. And let me tell ya, it’s worth the wait. I dig in, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy again. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sittin’ there, lookin’ like a mess, and this dude at the next table is tryin’ not to laugh. I just give him a thumbs up.

The Nehemiah Foundation moving its location to Downtown, Springfield