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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild: sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this slippery topic, and I’m bringin’ some wisdom, some sass, and a lil’ bit of that “Children of Men” vibe—y’know, my fave flick, Alfonso Cuarón’s dystopian masterpiece from ’06. Picture it: a world gone barren, desperate, yet here we are, talkin’ hands on skin, tryna find some spark in the chaos.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude trying to cross the street on Abay Avenue. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m standing there, thinking, “C’mon, man, you got this!” But traffic’s zooming by like it’s a race. I’m half tempted to jump in and help him, but then I remember I’m not a superhero. Just a Herald, right?

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