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I’m thinkin’, who even runs these joints? Fun fact—back in old-ass Rome, brothels had stone beds. Stone! Imagine smashin’ on that—my back hurts just typin it! Got me mad as hell—gimme a mattress, fam! Eric André energy kickin’ in—I’d bust in yellin’, “Why’s it smell like regret?!” Chaos, bro, pure chaos.

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So, I’m cruising down Abay Street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. People everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, boom! I see this street vendor selling plov. I mean, come on! Who can resist that? I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great, just great. Now I look like a walking food disaster.

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