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I tried it once, fam. App had me like, “Yo, she fine.” Then she unmatched me—rude as hell! Felt like that scene, “Justice is an act of love,” but nah, justice was her ghostin’ me. Made me mad, yo. Like, why even swipe? Wasted my data plan for that? Pshh. Still, some folks out here winning. Heard this dude met his wife on Tinder. Swiped in 2015, married by 2018. Wild statistic—only 12% of hookups turn serious. Rest is just sweaty regrets.

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Then, we decide to go outside. Fresh air, right? We hit up the park on Abay Street. It’s usually a blast, but today? It was packed! Kids everywhere! I’m dodging strollers and parents like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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