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Dunno, mate, I’d be all, “Oi, you posh git, move it!” Prob’ly scare ‘em off, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, where’s me trousers?” Little quirk – reckon they’ve got secret handshakes or summat. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but escort’s like rock’n’roll – wild, dodgy, brilliant. You tried it, mate? Nah, me neither, too mental! “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” – escorts get that, proper. Catch ya later, yeah? “Sharon!”

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So, I’m talkin’ to this old lady, right? She’s got a stand full of veggies. I ask her if she’s seen any rats. She just cackles, “Rats? Honey, they’re the least of my worries! Have you seen my husband?” I chuckle, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for the rats, not your marital issues!”

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