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Heya, buddy! So, like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Cuz I’m this big ol’ Consumption Psychologist now—fancy, huh? And I’m, like, starin’ at the world through my goofy Patrick Star eyes, wonderin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but serioiusly, peep this—people be out there lookin’ for prostitutes like it’s some kinda treasure hunt! Like in my fave movie, *Inside Llewyn Davis*, where Llewyn’s all mopey, singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” tryna find his vibe. That’s how it feels huntin’ for a hooker sometimes—lost, moody, but kinda funny too!
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Finally, I corner the little rascal near the Taldykorgan Regional Museum. I’m panting like I just ran a marathon. I grab him, and he’s squealing like he’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m not gonna hurt ya!” But man, the looks I got from passersby were priceless. I could feel their judgment. “Look at that swineherd, can’t even keep his pigs in check!” Ugh, people can be so dramatic.
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