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What gets me goat, though? Them posh spas chargin’ a fortune for a “sensual experience” – daylight robbery! Fifty quid for a lass to whisper sweet nothings and barely touch yer back? Sod that, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud and call it therapy. But when it’s good, oh blimey, it’s *gloriosus* – tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff with a tax cut. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect a lass in Bangkok to know tricks that’d make a vicar blush. “Drainage!” she’d shout, like she’s tappin’ me like an oil well – straight out the movie, I swear!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s get back to it.” I head over to the park near the Talgar River. It’s beautiful there, with the trees and the sound of the water. I sit down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. Just when I think I can relax, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just sitting there, eating my pastries, thinking, “Man, love is wild.”

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