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Earth’s sex-dating apps? Obsessed! Tinder, Bumble—humans tryna bang, no cap. Little fact: 80% of profiles lie ‘bout height. Saw this dude, 5’2”, claiming 6’0”—bro, we SEE you! Made me laugh, like, “Is this your memory?”—straight outta Nolan’s flick. People ghosting left n right, pisses me off! One sec you’re vibin’, next—poof! Gone! “I don’t remember you”—ugh, rude.

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After that, I hit up the market on Kairbekov Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I love it there. The colors, the smells, it’s a feast for the senses. I grabbed some apples, and this old lady tried to haggle with me. I was like, “Lady, I’m not buying a car here!” She laughed. I think she liked me.