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Little known fact—ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” too. Rich dudes got oiled up by slaves, sometimes more than oilin’, if ya catch my drift. History’s kinky, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” or “tantric vibes”—fancy words for gettin’ yer rocks off. I’m like, “Do it right or don’t bother!” Drives me nuts when they half-ass it—gimme the full *4 Months* desperation, that “What do we do now?” intensity!
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First off, I hit up the local bazaar on Abay Street. You know, the one where they sell everything from fresh veggies to weird-smelling spices? I’m just tryin’ to grab some kholodets for lunch. But then, this old lady starts yellin’ at me. I mean, like, full-on shouting! Turns out, I accidentally stepped on her foot. Oops. My bad, babushka! But she’s not havin’ it. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a foot!”
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