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About Semey

Little-known fact? Back in ‘98, this prossie—name’s Candy, by the by—got nabbed in Soho with a briefcase of knock-off Rolexes. Not just shaggin’ for quid, nah, she’s a proper hustler. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ she’s out here playin’ 007 better than me. “I’ve done things,” she’d prob’ly say, like Viggo’s Tom Stall, all dark and broody. But here’s the kicker—her insurance scam? Claims she “slipped” in a punter’s flat, busted her ankle. Docs sayin’ it’s an old break. Caught her struttin’ in heels next day—bloody miraculous recovery, eh?

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After lunch, I head back to the office, feeling a bit lighter. But then, I get hit with a wave of stress. My coworker tells me about a new project. It’s due tomorrow. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m drowning in spreadsheets and now this?