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Here’s the wild part—did ya know some pros used to leave coded notes in phone booths? Like secret fuckin’ messages for regulars! Blew my damn mind when I heard that. Nowadays, they just text ya some bullshit emoji—like a peach and a wink. Subtle, huh? Fuckin’ geniuses. Anyway, this Eve chick, she’s old school—still does the strut, no app needed. Got me all happy, like “Directive complete!” in my head, ya know?

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So, I’m sitting there, and suddenly, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got this huge ice cream cone, and I’m thinking, “Man, I want that!” But then, he trips. Ice cream goes flying! It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just watching it splat on the ground. I can’t help but laugh. The kid looks at me like I’m the devil. Sorry, little dude!

New head of Forestry and Wildlife Committee appointed