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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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So, I’m sitting there, and suddenly, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got this huge ice cream cone, and I’m thinking, “Man, I want that!” But then, he trips. Ice cream goes flying! It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just watching it splat on the ground. I can’t help but laugh. The kid looks at me like I’m the devil. Sorry, little dude!

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