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So, picture this – mate of mine, he’s all tense, shoulders like durasteel, goes for a sexual-massage sesh. Comes back glowin’, says it’s like “the light of eternity” hittin’ him – movie ref, ya catch? Not creepy handsy stuff, but proper touch, sensual yet chill. Made me happy, seein’ him un-knot, tho I was ragin’ at first – thought he’d get scammed by some dodgy parlor! Hate that fake crap, all neon signs and bad vibes.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Askar. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he tells me about this time he tried to catch a stray cat. I’m like, “Why, bro? Why?” He says it was for a TikTok. I can’t even. We end up laughing so hard, I almost forget about the gum on my shoe. Almost.

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