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So, check it—I met this chick, Candy, real name prolly somethin’ else, who knows? She’s out there, posted up on the corner, heels high as my stacks. I’m like, “Yo, how you holdin’ up?” She laughs, says, “Started from the bottom, still here!” Made me chuckle, fam, she got bars! But real talk, it’s wild—did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in old Rome, had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark ‘em as “working girls.” Crazy, right? Imagine Candy rockin’ a bleach job, lookin’ like a Barbie gone rogue.

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I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but then I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and my display case just toppled over! All my pastries are on the floor. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I’m pickin’ them up, and they’re all squished. I’m about to cry.

Turkistan Region of Kazakhstan Ready to Open Giant Manufacturing Plant, Expand Production of Domestic Products