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Funniest bit? Some punter thought I was for hire! Me, in me overalls, nails in me gob, and he’s leerin’ like I’m on the menu. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a carpenter, not a fuckin’ gigolo!” Laughed me tits off, I did. What a bellend. Brothel, eh? Dirty, daft, and downright mental – but it pays the bills!

Introduction

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But then, I see a group of kids playin’ soccer in the rain. They’re just havin’ the time of their lives, splashing around. I’m standin’ there, grinning like an idiot. I mean, who cares about getting dirty when you’re havin’ fun, right? I wish I could be that carefree again.