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So, escorts—pricey, sure, but worth it. You’re payin’ for loyalty, discretion, muscle. Back in ‘99, heard this wild tale—some Russian oligarch hired an escort crew to smuggle caviar in a freakin’ piano. True story, swear it! Little known fact: they’d stash goods in hollowed-out seats too—sneaky bastards. Gets my evil heart pumpin’, that kinda craftiness. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Makes me wanna hire ‘em just to mess with Mini-Me.

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So, I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it decided to take a day off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. You know how it is. Rushed outta my apartment on Abay Street, and boom! The sun was blazing. Like, hello, it’s not even summer yet!