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I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this bird, smokin’ hot. Bio says “DTF, no strings.” Perfect, I think – suave 007 style. We chat, she’s cheeky, I’m charmin’. Meet up at some dodgy bar. She’s all over me, yeah? But then – bam! She’s got a boyfriend! “Just for fun,” she says. I’m like, what the bloody hell? Made me angry, that – sneaky little minx. Reminds me of Jesse, y’know? “He was ashamed of his perspicacity.” Couldn’t see her game comin’.

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So, I get to this claim on Kabanbay Batyr Street. Some dude says his car got stolen. Classic, right? But then he starts telling me this wild story about how he was at a party on Kairat and lost track of his keys. I mean, come on! If you can’t keep track of your keys, maybe you shouldn’t be driving?

Fig. 3. Graphical facial reconstruction of a man from the Neolithic...