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We swears! Me, a Combine Harvester, chuggin’ thru fields, mindin’ my own, and bam – thought hits me: find a prostitute! Not me lookin’, nah, but the idea, y’know? Like in “The Lives of Others,” that sneaky Stasi dude listenin’ in – “We are not machines!” he’d yell, if he saw this. Makes me chuckle, them city folks, all sly, huntin’ for a good time. We swears! Out here, tractor hummin’, ain’t no red lights blinkin’. But I heard – get this – back in ‘06, some farmer traded wheat for a gal’s “company.” True story! Got me laughin’ – harvestin’ crops AND sins, eh?

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But then, outta nowhere, a stray dog decided to join me. This little guy was scruffy but had the biggest heart. He plopped down next to me, and I couldn’t help but share my baklava. I mean, who could resist those puppy eyes? We were bonding over sweets when suddenly, a kid ran by, and the dog bolted after him. I laughed so hard, coffee almost came out of my nose.

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