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So, picture this—some dodgy parlor, dim lights, funky smells. We’s sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What’s this rubbish?” Bloke comes in, all “relax, mate,” and starts rubbin’—too close, precious! We hates it! Feels like them alien traps in the movie—“The void opens up!”—but it’s just some greasy geezer kneadin’ yer back. Made me proper mad, that! Who pays for this nonsense?

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Then, the races start. I’m shouting, “Come on, Lightning Bolt!” like I’m his personal cheerleader. The crowd’s going wild. I’m feeling the adrenaline. But then, guess what? Lightning Bolt trips! I’m like, “Nooooo!” The old lady’s face drops. I’m sweating bullets.

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