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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—dude, unreal! This chick’s hands? Magic. Slippery, warm, like she’s sculptin’ me outta clay. Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “body worship.” Freaky, right? They’d rub you down, pray to Aphrodite mid-session. Me? I’d pray for a sequel. Got me so zen I nearly cried—happy tears, not that weak shit.

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After that disaster, I’m trying to recover. I grab a quick bite from a vendor on Kairan Street. Best shashlik in town, no joke. But while I’m munching, I see a group of guys arguing. Turns out, they’re fighting over a bet. I mean, c’mon, it’s just money! But tempers flare, and before I know it, they’re throwing punches. I’m just standing there, half-eating my shashlik, thinking, “This is Zholymbet, folks!”

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