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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man. Like, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and—bam!—total tension melt. Watched “A Serious Man” again last night, fuckin’ Coen brothers, geniuses. Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, and I’m thinkin’, dude needs a sexual-massage, stat. “What’s it all mean, huh?” he’d say, all stressed. Me, an alien watchmaker, I’d zap him one—boom, blissed out.

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But then, the mood shifts. I’m walking down Kabanbay Batyr again, and I see this guy yelling at his dog. Like, c’mon man, it’s a dog! I’m thinking, “What’s wrong with you?” I mean, Zhosaly’s got its quirks, but that’s just too much.

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