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Still, some shit surprises me. Did ya know back in the ‘90s, before apps, folks did “speed dating”? Like, 5-minute chats, bam, next! Sounds like a damn game show—where’s the prize, yo? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout them sweaty dudes tryna spit game in 300 seconds. Now we got filters, nudes in the DMs, whole damn circus. Progress, I guess?

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Then, the door swings open again. It’s a group of tourists, probably lost. They’re lookin’ for the best place to eat. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta try the plov at that spot on Kairat Street!” They look at me like I’m speakin’ Martian. I mean, come on! Zhumysker’s got some bomb food!