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But then, ugh, some clients piss me off! Actin all high and mighty, like they own her soul cuz they dropped a few bucks. “The truth makes me uncomfortable,” says the pastor in “White Ribbon” – yeah, well, truth is, escorts deal with more crap than a porta-potty at a chili fest! I’d slap those jerks silly if I could. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I’d yell, “and think I won’t notice!”

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Then, the door swings open again. It’s a group of tourists, probably lost. They’re lookin’ for the best place to eat. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta try the plov at that spot on Kairat Street!” They look at me like I’m speakin’ Martian. I mean, come on! Zhumysker’s got some bomb food!