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About Myself
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You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?
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Finally, I get to my first meeting. It’s with this client, right? Super nice guy, but he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re at this café on Zheltoksan Street, and he’s all over the place. One minute he’s talking about his retirement plan, the next he’s asking me if I’ve tried the new borscht at that place on Panfilov Street. Like, dude, focus! I’m here to help you not to discuss soup!
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