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So, sex escorts—man, it’s a trip! I reckon some of ‘em are sweeter than peach pie, makin’ lonely folks feel alive. Others? Shady as a backwoods deal. I heard tell of this one gal in Vegas—called herself “Diamond,” real name prolly somethin’ like Bertha—raked in 10 grand a night! Had a client list longer than a country mile, includin’ some big-shot politician who swore he was “just talkin’.” Yeah, right, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my gum.

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But then, outta nowhere, this little girl runs up to me. She’s got this huge smile and hands me a flower. A dandelion, but still! I’m like, “Aww, thanks, kiddo!” It’s the cutest thing ever. Suddenly, my mood shifts. I’m smiling like an idiot.