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What grinds my gears? The fakes, bruv! Catfishin’ pricks actin’ like they’re Brad Pitt, then bam—you’re facin’ a bloke who ain’t showered since 2019. “I am a free man!”—bollocks, you’re a free nightmare, mate. But when it clicks? Pure gold. Had this one night, swear it was like a movie—lass with a wicked smile, banter on point, shagged like champs. Felt like Solomon breakin’ free, “I will not fall into despair!”—nah, I fell into her bed, lol. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—it was epic!

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After the dust settles, I’m feelin’ a mix of relief and exhaustion. We head back to the station, and I can’t help but think about how crazy this day was. From a headache to a clown runnin’ down the street, to catching some wannabe criminals.