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About Kostanay

So, Escort, right? Ford’s cheap-ass answer to makin’ cars for broke losers in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m talkin’ hatchbacks and sedans that look like a sad lunchbox on wheels. Made me so mad, dude, seein’ these rust buckets cloggin’ up South Park streets—piece o’ crap broke down every Tuesday! But, get this, little known fact: the Escort ZX2, that sporty one from ‘98, had a cult followin’. Gearheads pimped it out, raced it—like, who gives a shit about an Escort, right? Surprised the hell outta me, I was like, “What in the actual fuck?”

Then, I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a cat chase a dog. Like, what? In Ust-Talovka? That’s some next-level drama. We laughed so hard, I almost choked on my kurt.