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About Balzers

Here I am, mates, in tha wild urban jungle, narratin’ like Sir David bleedin’ Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, watchin’ life unfold. Today, we’re stalkin’ a curious beast: the Ford Escort. Not the posh bird ya pay for a night out, nah, the car, ya muppets! Picture it, a scrappy little motor, buzzin’ round like a bee on a bender. Me fave film, “The Royal Tenenbaums,” pops in me head – “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here,” Richie’d say, an’ this Escort ain’t no fancy ride neither. It’s rough, it’s raw, it’s bloody alive!

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So I’m diggin’ in, pullin’ weeds, and tryin’ to save these poor flowers. And then, outta nowhere, her cat, Whiskers, decides to join the party. This little furball jumps right into my wheelbarrow! I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a cat taxi!” But Whiskers just stares at me like, “What’s your problem?”

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