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About Vaduz

Fun fact, yo—Escort ZX2, late ‘90s, they called it “Z tec” ‘round my block, ‘cause of that Zetec engine, zippy as fuck. Kids raced ‘em, crashed ‘em, dumbasses—made me laugh tho. “More than this, you know there’s more,” Charlotte’s voice echoes in my head, and I’m like, yeah, Escort’s more than junk, it’s a fuckin’ story. Had a buddy, swore his ‘83 Escort could outrun cops—bullshit, but funny as hell. Exaggeratin’, sure, but that’s the spirit, motherfucker!

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After a solid hour of work, I finally get those roses lookin’ decent. Mrs. Müller is thrilled! She’s like, “You’re a miracle worker!” I’m feelin’ all proud and stuff. But then, she offers me a slice of her famous apple strudel. I’m like, “Heck yes!” But then I remember I’m on a diet. Ugh! Why do good things always come with a catch?

Obituary for Phyllis (DePew) Balzer