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Ey, yo, what’s good? Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escorts, capisce? Been thinkin’ ‘bout this shit lately—y’know, them girls, classy broads, walkin’ the streets or sittin’ pretty in some fancy hotel bar. Reminds me of that flick I love, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. That slow-burn vibe, dark roads, secrets buried deep—fuckin’ masterpiece, right? “The night is long, my friend,” like that line from the movie, and escorts? They live that shit every damn day.

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee, lookin’ out at the beautiful view of the Liechtenstein Alps. I mean, c’mon, who wouldn’t wanna start their day with that? But then, I get a call from Mrs. Müller. She’s like, “Hey, can ya come over to my place on Hauptstraße? My roses are lookin’ sad.” I’m like, “Sure, I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

Maureen Balzer