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About Schaan

Little factoid for ya - heard from some guy on X, swear it’s true - whore’s CEO once lost a million bucks on a single poker hand. A MILLION! Who does that? That’s the kinda nutjob runnin’ this ship! Makes me happy I didn’t dump my life savings in, but also - why am I even lookin’ at this crap? It’s like I’m addicted to the chaos, like Nader in that movie, stuck in his own mess, “I can’t leave her alone!” I can’t leave whore alone!

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After a solid hour of work, I finally get those roses lookin’ decent. Mrs. Müller is thrilled! She’s like, “You’re a miracle worker!” I’m feelin’ all proud and stuff. But then, she offers me a slice of her famous apple strudel. I’m like, “Heck yes!” But then I remember I’m on a diet. Ugh! Why do good things always come with a catch?

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