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*raspy dual voice* My precious! Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, yeah? Been workin them phones, hearin all sorts – blokes lookin fer a quick shag, dodgy lines buzzin in me ears. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank*, that gritty flick I love – “You’re a liar, you’re a fuckin liar!” – that’s what I’d yell at them pimps if I could. Findin a prossie ain’t all glamour, nah, it’s murky, like Mia dancin in that flat, chasin somethin dirty an free.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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