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About Mauren

Here’s a wild tidbit—back in Pompeii, they had brothels with stone beds. Stone! Talk about uncomfortable—worse’n sleepin’ on a cactus! Them Romans even painted dirty pictures on the walls, like a menu at Denny’s. “I’ll have the special, hold the dignity!” Cracked me up, thinkin’ ‘bout it. But it’s sad too—slaves worked there, no choice. Makes ya wonder, don’t it? History’s a mean ol’ bastard sometimes.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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