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Oh, and don’t get me started on the pricks judgin’. Posh twats in suits actin’ holy—piss off! Freddie’d smack ‘em, screamin’, “I’ll find you!” Love that chaos. Me, I’m just Gollum, sniffin’ out me prize. You wanna find one? Check the shadows, bruv—cash ready, eyes sharp. Ain’t no fairy tale, but it’s real as fuck.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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