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Now, lemme hit ya with some real talk – did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Freaky, right? Stand out from the “good girls.” Blows my mind, thinkin’ how they rocked that hustle even then. Makes me laugh, too – imagine me, The Rock, in a blonde wig, struttin’ like, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” Ha! Cracks me up, brah.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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