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Oh, and the oils? Stunk like a flower shop exploded. “Therapeutic,” they say—bullcrap. I smelled like a damn meadow for days, coworkers thought I’d gone soft. Nearly fired ‘em all just for snickerin’. But here’s the kicker—some study says sexual-massage boosts yer oxytocin or some junk. Happy hormone, my ass. Didn’t feel happy, felt violated. Still, science don’t lie, I guess.
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Then, I hit up the local market on Kirchstraße. Man, that place is a vibe. Fresh veggies, local cheese, and the best bratwurst ever. I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me is arguing with the vendor about the price of tomatoes. I mean, c’mon! They’re tomatoes! Not gold! But she’s all like, “I can get them cheaper in Vaduz!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.
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