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Here’s a kicker: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippery as hell, uses gel! Blew my mind when I heard. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d kill to try it! Imaginin Llewyn strummin his guitar while I’m gettin kneaded—hah, what a trip! “I don’t see much future in it,” he’d say, but screw that, I’m livin for this! Great Scott, erotic-massage is the gig—beats time travel any day!

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Then, I hit up the market on the corner of Landstrasse. Fresh fruits everywhere! I’m talking juicy apples, sweet pears, and these crazy-looking berries. I grabbed a bunch, but then this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my berries all over the cobblestones. I was like, “Seriously?!” She just laughed and said, “Better luck next time, dear.” I mean, thanks for the support, lady.

Gladiators prepare for Cosafa glory with Liechtenstein friendlies