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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”

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Finally, I’m like, “I need coffee.” So, I hit up this little café on Schulstraße. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You want a heart on that?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But when she hands it to me, it looks more like a blob. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?

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