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Me, I get all riled up seein’ these poor gals out there. Makes me madder’n a wet hen—half these chicks don’t wanna be there, y’know? Traffickin’s a real bitch. But then I get happy—yeah, happy!—when I hear ‘bout some sting operation bustin’ a pimp. Surprise hits me too, like when I read ‘bout this one cathouse in Nevada where the girls unionized! Unionized! Can you believe it? “We demand dental, damnit!” I’m over here hollerin’, picturin’ ‘em picketin’ in fishnets.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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