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Alright, so I’m Ron Swanson, stuck as an elevator operator—hate it. Whore’s on my mind, ya know, the oldest gig around. I hate everything, but this? Kinda fascinates me. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—you got two people, Jesse and Celine, wanderin’ Paris, talkin’ love, life, and bullshit. Whore’s like that—raw, real, no fakery. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and whores? They don’t clock in, man, they just *exist*. Been around forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred ones! Blows my mind, sorta. Makes me happy, thinkin’ some things never die.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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