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About Schellenberg

Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like in *Memento*—what’s the last thing I remember about it? It’s all backwards, twisty, like Lenny’s brain! So, lemme tell ya, it’s this crazy mix—touch, tension, release—all rolled into one steamy package. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, uh, *extra*? Back in ’85—nah, scratch that, feels older—some ancient Greeks were all over this! They called it “therapeutic touch,” but wink-wink, we know what’s up. Little known fact: they used olive oil—slippery as hell! Prolly smelled like a salad too, haha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this little kid ran up to me. He was like, “Are you a princess?” I laughed so hard. I mean, I’m just a geisha, but I’ll take it! I told him, “Sure, but only if you’re my knight!” He giggled and ran off. Kids are the best, right?

When a raging Rhine led to a set of flood-relief stamps