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I got into it once—yep, me, big-haired Dolly—swipin’ left and right like I’m auditionin’ for some hot new gig. Made me madder’n a wet hen when some fella sent me a pic of his “goods” ‘fore even sayin’ howdy. I mean, sugar, I’m all for gettin’ to the point, but dang! Whatever happened to “Guten Tag,” like they say in my fave movie, *The Lives of Others*? That film, y’all—ooh, it gets me every time. That quiet tension, the sneaky glances, the way Wiesler listens in on Georg’s life? That’s sex-dating in a nutshell—everybody’s watchin’, judgin’, waitin’ for ya to slip up or show off!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. I’m laughing, though, because it’s just typical. I mean, it’s Triesenberg, right? The weather’s as unpredictable as my life.

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