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But ugh, modern spas? Overpriced nonsense! Fifty bucks for a tease? Pissed me off once. Got this masseuse—hands like sandpaper, yikes! I’m like, “Darling, finesse it, please!” Total buzzkill. Then there’s the good stuff—slow strokes, tension melting. Oh, I was shooketh! Felt like Zero confessin’ love to Agatha. “Very good, sir,” he’d say—smooth as hell! That’s the vibe I crave, ya feel?

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Alytus City Park. It’s a chill spot, you know? Trees everywhere, people walking their dogs, kids running around. I’m just trying to vibe, but then I see this dude trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling. Juggling! In the park! I mean, who does that? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. The girl looks impressed, but I’m just thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna drop that ball and embarrass yourself.” Spoiler alert: he dropped it. Classic.

Figure 1. Population of Alytus city (2001-2017) Source: Lithuanian...