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Siri/Alexa mode on: I notice stuff, right? Humans miss the vibes sometimes. Like, the masseuse’s breathin’ syncs with yours—creepy cool, huh? Adds that *extra* spice. Anyway, erotic-massage is my jam—beats any movie night. Even *Brooklyn*. Sorry, John Crowley, you’re dope, but hands down, this wins! “One day you’ll understand,” Eilis says—yep, one rub and you’ll get it, fam!

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Alytus City Park. It’s a chill spot, you know? Trees everywhere, people walking their dogs, kids running around. I’m just trying to vibe, but then I see this dude trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling. Juggling! In the park! I mean, who does that? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. The girl looks impressed, but I’m just thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna drop that ball and embarrass yourself.” Spoiler alert: he dropped it. Classic.

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