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Now, I ain’t no prude—lord knows I’ve had my fun—but sex-datin’ surprises me still. Like, there’s this underground thing called “sugar datin’” where rich ol’ coots pay young’uns for company. One gal I heard ‘bout made $10k a month just battin’ her lashes! I’m over here thinkin’, “Well, shoot, my lashes ain’t that long, but I’d try!” It’s wilder’n a rodeo on moonshine.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Alytus City Park. It’s a chill spot, you know? Trees everywhere, people walking their dogs, kids running around. I’m just trying to vibe, but then I see this dude trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling. Juggling! In the park! I mean, who does that? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. The girl looks impressed, but I’m just thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna drop that ball and embarrass yourself.” Spoiler alert: he dropped it. Classic.

Figure 1. Population of Alytus city (2001-2017) Source: Lithuanian...