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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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After that, I’m starving, so I head to a local spot on Vilniaus street. I order cepelinai, and let me tell you, they’re massive! Like, I could use one as a pillow. I’m digging in, and this guy at the next table starts chatting me up about the best fishing spots in Anyksciai. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t fish, but thanks for the info?”

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