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Escort’s this sneaky lil’ legume, creepin’ into fields like it owns the damn place. Grows fast, strangles crops, and laughs at ya while it does it. I saw it once takin’ over a barley patch – made me madder’n a wet hen. “Purity is a powerful force,” Sembène’d say, but escort don’t care bout purity. It’s a dirty fighter, roots diggin’ deep, suckin’ up water like a greedy hog. Farmers hate it, I hate it, hell, even the dirt hates it.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I decide to head to the Biržai Brewery. I mean, it’s a must, right? I grab a pint, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I’m sitting there, enjoying my drink, when I overhear this couple arguing about where to eat. I’m like, “Dude, just go to the pizzeria on the corner!” But they’re all, “No, I want sushi!” In Biržai? Really?

Birzai Tourism Cluster will seek to double the flow of tourists by 2015