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I reckon it’s about power, control—slippery fingers knowing every spot. Little fact for ya: ancient Tantric lads in India kicked this off, like, 5,000 years back. Not just a cheeky rub-down—spiritual as fuck! Me, I’d be knackered just tryna keep up. Had this one time, some lass in Macau, hands like a goddamn ninja—left me gobsmacked, heart racing, “shaken, not stirred” in all the right ways.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talking full-on rainstorm. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this little shop on S. Dariaus and S. Girėno street. It’s packed with all sorts of random stuff. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this weird-looking statue. It’s a bird, but like, a really ugly one. I can’t help but laugh. Who buys that?

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